I was in a board meeting tonight for a board I recently joined for a theatre organization, and earlier I also spoke to a coworker about a project she is starting, and it solidified for me something I was speaking to a friend about after work today. I am chock full of ideas. SO MANY IDEAS. I came up with marketing, story, and promotional ideas for my coworker. For the board I threw out a bunch of ideas for partnerships, fundraising, other income and accessibility avenues while still maintaining the goal of the organization. For myself, I have so many business ideas (Even some awesome ones I have outlines for for myself!). My issue is action. I SUCK at taking actionable steps. Some I can wrap my mind around, but all in all, I don’t know where to start to make things happen. I can coach others in steps they should start with, but am frozen with notepads full of ideas.

Even this blog post has taken me a week to get back to. Right now I am working 4 jobs, FOUR. 1 full time, 1 part time, 2 super part time. I am working to pay down debt, and to try and figure out money to afford our adoption. I am 45 years old and feel so behind (see previous post) and fight against feeling like a failure all the time. I am really good at all of my jobs. Great even. How can I make what I do really well, all the ideas I have something that fills my cup while also paying the bills without making me need 4 freaking jobs to do so?! I need a week in a room without anyone needing anything from me to really dig into things, BUT if I get that time, will I be too worn out to make it happen?

I would love to be able to help other people take the action steps to help themselves move forward, but even to do that I need to figure out how to make myself move forward. What is it they say, those who can’t do…. teach? Maybe that is why two of my jobs are teaching kiddos.